Busy as the way of living. I hate it. I hate taking a breath to realise that today WAS somewhat already 18th January and I have so much to do that l just forget what having friends or even spending time with my little sister is. Other than that I have literally just been reading a ot of theories, going through entire books for few words and then trying to put in words of my own. And it just is going to continue this way.
You see, when it is something interesting, it goes easily - I really end up being interesed in what I am about to find out and it ends up being useful, but then there are times like now, when I desperately seeking for my theme and just unknowingly wandering though things I am not interested in just to find the right words to name my problem. Because to be confident, you have to know certain things and be able to answer questions, but currently I am finding more and more questions to ask myself and just having that standing on the bridge on storm, pouring rain and not seeing the other coast at all. I need to find something to hold on.
Other than that, yesterday instead on Life of Pi (2012), which I will see now, I saw Never Let Me Go (2010), which was so sad, I can't even put it in words. The saddest thing was actually khow the characters didn't fight against their destiny, which in general made me think about my life as well. Everyone is having their struggles, but when it comes to certain moment when they have had enough and just everything seems to lead to one way which is totally unlikeable, why to continue? Here the individuals were living life as they were made just for one purpose - becoming organ donors at certain time of their lives, and by giving away what they had, the slowly ended their lives as no one can live without proper amount of organs. Tell me about more doomed future. What I didn't understand was why didn't they run away. At certain periods their lives seemed as having no other meaning, unknowing what else to do, but when those two, main characters, realised they were hopelessly in love with each other, they didn't fight back for the system they were into. And I don't understand that.
Once you have something to hold on to, someone you care about, you life has a totally different meaning. Whenever it's a boyfriend, a cat/dog or other close pet or a child or even a whole room filled with plants. If you have to look after them, spend your time and involve with their lives, you feel like you have to be for them. You just have to. And it gives a meaning to the existence. Because the concept of sharing your life with somebody which was so beautifully told on previously seen Her (2013).
These days sharing your life is understood as posting, statusses, likes, instagramming, selfies and so on. But it's not that. I am personally not into all that kind of stuff. I am not trying to tell a story about myself to everyone I can. Because... should I?
I feel a lot more happier talking about simple things with my beloved people. Having meaningful conversations and chats about big and small things. Like everyday stuff or rethorical questions. Seeing someone's reaction at the very moment something is said/done isn't yet to be felt through screens. And it's important to keep these things real.