Sunday, 23 March 2014

22th March

I wrote this the other day and I thought that I needed to save it.

      May I start with a statement - I am average.
     Here you won't see anything extraordinary. I don't have a wow-ing style or amazing make-up applying skills or taste for great interior decorating. I actually lack on those. Well, except for style, it's one of those things I get complimented on real life.
     Anyway I am simple. I sometimes don't reveal all the details or say something in what other call 'mysterious' way just because I don't want to say something. It's weird wanting to keep things to myself when whole world is going digital. Everyone is sharing their most private moments online. If there was no photo of it posted, did it even happen?
     It ends up making us all to try hard on creating this alter ego - even the most quite people have so much to say online. Then you meet them and there is this silence. It was a lot more fun online, wasn't it?
   I am the generation that spent their teens online. Thankfully my childhood was filled with old, fancy technology. As a kid I had no computer. But there were those rotary phones, tvs with actual antenas attached and NO remote controls - you had to get up to press buttons on it's monitor. And there were film photo cameras, and my father had a polaroid camera. I don't see him much (actually haven't seen for past 10 or so years), but I still have the polaroids he took from those good old days.
     We, kids, went on actual adventures. As I live(d) on a bit of country side there were those big trees to climb, places to discover and hide. Days seemed fulfilled. Now I see all those people, including kids, and me having screens in fron of our places, enjoying landscapes by capturing them through cameras instead of seeing them. The eye sees a larger scale of colours than camera or monitor. Unless you go on that crazy over-editing mode. Then the beginning image doesn't matter as you may alter it in any way possible.
I started this in a different manner for another matter. But my point was, that no matter what you go through - it's unique experience. But what matters, is the actual experiencing. Seeing pictures or videos from places isn't the same as being there. And looking through screen isn't an actual being in the place.
     Even though texting has become the way of communicating, it's important to meet people more often. Because the memories that matter will be the moments shared, and a fact that you made someone smile won't be as rewaring as actually seeing one.
     I seek for what's real. I look through those digital bits to find what's real.
     And my love for creating outfits is real. My crappy, overly emotional personality is real. My kindness and welcomness (if that's even a word) is true. Call me a dreamer, but I am one of those who want to make world a better place.
     I am still looking for the right way, for my own place and meaning here.
     But I guess, I am on my way, as all of us.
     Always stay true to yourself,
     Because yourself is the only thing you really have.

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