A moment ago I was figthing with myself, should I write this post or may I skip it. I thought I had missed only two days, but as you may see, these are three postless days. And quite pointless if you ask me. It seems that I am becoming anxious for even writing a blog post. Wow, what a life I have ahead of me. It's midnight now and I feel like taking a break. I am so exhausted. From everything - eating, social networks, my friends, my phone, internet, screens, my ex, my body, air itself. And life.
There is this fact, this possibily that we may just go and change our lives. You know, become anything we wished for, travel to places, kiss anyone you want to, leave the place you come from and start brand new. Anything. We may do anything. You may change your life this very minute by making a crazy plan. All the world is in front of you, and what the fuck (pardon my french) are you doing now? Entertaining yourself within blogging platforms? Looking for pretty aesthetic photos or other people life updates? Hauls and event photos? Really, what are you looking for?
And for myself may I ask what am I aiming for within wasting my minutes on writing these few words. Well, I don't know. My eyes actually hurt and I wish I could stay asleep for 24 hours straight. I really feel that bad, yet I don't let myself fall asleep. I should have been working on my paper that's due less than a month. And there is yet so much left to do. And yet I am here for some weird reason. Listening to a mix of old and not so old Brand New songs. They are great as the lyrics are like short stories that need to be felt. Those aren't the best background music, as I always end up listening to lyrics too much.
I should have added some pretty photos, but I haven't snapped anything for a while. Neither created in Photoshop. I am having that blank page moment for several weeks now. But my goal is set to spend two next days completely isolating myself from everything. That's the only way I may fully dedicate myself to what I need to do. Going underground. Because for people who put off everything till it's nearly too late -as myself- there are sometimes no other options than a little torturing myself. And maybe treating my social media and online shopping addiction.
This whole was most likely a selfish act, but we may all learn from other people experiences, am I right?
Or maybe I am not. Maybe I am just a silly, introvert, introspective girl who has become shallow.