Wednesday, 31 December 2014

2014

    31st December 365/365
    I am the very best at putting things off. And there is no even an explainable reason for that, as I have quite a lot of time in my hands. On weekends particulary when I just fee like not leaving my bed in the mornings till like 1pm and then I wonder how the weekends pass so quickly. Makes no sense. Yet the workdays are now filled with learning about what working in an office means. I recently talked with long lost friend (we used to be besties, who do everything together when we were little, somehow we grew apart, it just sort of happened gradually) about how you may study anything these days, but at the end you will be sitting 8 hours by computer screen on daily basis in an office. And that is the end. Bam. You have achieved being in a loop of days that feel the same. Even though you may go through various clients/problems/emails/happenings, still the days feel kind of the same. I may say that there are ups and downs and even though at first I could not imagine myself enjoying such type of job one bit, I have become used to it and sometimes even found of it. Might be that someday I would share more information regarding what my everyday day work consists of. As sort of, you know, writing it down for remembering what it was like later, when these are just going to be memories upon how it was like. I already know that this cannot be a long-term job, but for some time, it will fulfill my rather wasted days (at least that is how I may consider the months during Summer, happily spent, but yet without a higher purpose, therefore wasted).
   Yet I do think about the importance of branding oneself these days. A lot of people, like literally thousands of people these days are who they are and make their living that way, which I find rather awesome. And I have wished to give it a shot, but as it just goes - life goes, time is spent on other activities and here is another year, ending and I am just once again realising that I have not done it. But the 2015 must be more about creating. The past year I may admit that I went through my blank page phase, which made me unable to draw (which I usually enjoy), take pictures (which is a bit of undeveloped hobby), DIY things (I used to re-touch some clothes and accessories every now and then). So, yes, I am currently thinking of some New Year's resolutions, to live by, to lead my life a little happier than I am at this very moment. As I started ths post, there are quite a plenty of things I wish to do and achieve and push myself to limits. And go beyond them. Yet time does not wait for anybody and for the hell of it, any day may be our very last one. And for that matter, does anything even matter, like for real. I think we, most of us, care too much about other may think. May. I want to stress this word, because we live in assumptions that may not ever become real. So why bother with everyone when it matters to be truly liked by yourself and have a couple of people who think alike. We cannot take anyone, even closest friends, for granted, but it is important to connect with few minds who think alike. It is important to value those close ones. And not let friendships die. Which happens when life gets busy. 
   And I am feeling rather sleepy than excited for the even of New Year. I truly hope that the proverb that went something like -how you start your year will be how you have it- and I am feeling awfully. Like my head is so heavy, I must have caught a cold in this freezing weather, which is no shocker. I must improve my English, I write it down as another of resolutions. Like I have been doing mutually. I actually managed going through my subscription box on youtube to watch few of videos, look through twitter, put on lush face mask, eat homemade gingerbread and more. The whole putting things off aspect is just killing me. I need to learn to concentrate, put focus on one thing at the time, otherwise by doing a bit of everything is hard if not impossible to fully commit to everything. There are truly a ton of things I feel like I need to do. And yet again, I put things off. This must be changed. 

    Let's make the best of the days we have, no matter how many years those will be. 

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